


No Tomorrow

by wednesdays__child



Series: Mad World [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pre-Slash, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 20:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7697785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wednesdays__child/pseuds/wednesdays__child
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid gets bad news. Hotch tries to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Avenir balayé](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8497594) by [Malohkeh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malohkeh/pseuds/Malohkeh)



> This is my emotional response to the death of Anton Yelchin. Unbetaed. Title from the song "Mad World" by Gary Jules.
> 
> Spoilers through the end of Season 11.

_"Death is the fairest thing in the world. No one's ever gotten out of it. The earth takes everyone - the kind, the cruel, the sinners. Aside from that, there's no fairness on earth." - Svetlana Alexievich_

Aaron Hotchner sighed as he stood up from his desk, groaning lightly at each pop and creak of his worn out joints. He'd been sitting for far too long, staring at the list of names. Thirteen. Thirteen killers they had to hunt again, including one that made Hotch's blood run cold.

He quickly shut his computer down before slipping files into his briefcase and heading out the of his office. The bullpen was quiet, most everyone having already left for home. All his team save one.

"Reid," Hotch called as he descended the stairs. "Go home."

Aaron couldn't help the smile that split his face when the younger agent looked up from the file on his desk. "Sorry," Spencer said, ducking his head slightly. "I got caught up again. There has to be something in here to help us find out where he would go."

It wasn't lost on Hotch that Spencer was going over the Peter Lewis file again. Of course he took that case to heart, it was hard not to when the man and his monster still haunted Aaron's nightmares, but to see Spencer so invested in the case helped make him feel better. "Well, we can take a fresh look tomorrow." He waited until Spencer had packed up before gesturing toward the elevator. "You drive today?"

"Yeah," Spencer answered as he quickly caught up with the Unit Chief. "My mechanic said I needed to let her run more so I figured today would a good day to drive. Did you know the history of calling vehicles and other forms of transport in a feminine manner dates all the way back to Ancient Greece when explorers thought that it would be lucky to have a female watching over them as they travelled. In fact, nearly a quarter of all Americans name their cars female names and..."

Hotch chuckled as they entered the elevator, knowing he'd be much more knowledgeable about the naming of vehicles before he ever got back to his. As they entered the parking garage together, Hotch slowed his pace, hoping to ask Spencer if wanted to get something to eat. If he was lucky, Spencer wouldn't have any plans and could join him and Jack. Before he could ask, Spencer's phone rang.

"Dr. Reid," Spencer answered quickly. "Yes, this Dr. Spencer Reid. Wait? What?! Nathan is...no I understand, but...how? How is that possible?! Are you sure? Yes. I'll...yes, thank you."

Hotch stood stock still during the conversation, taken back by the fear and desperation in the younger man's voice. Whatever had happened, it has rocked Spencer to his core. As Spencer ended the call, he froze, phone still dangling useless in his hand.

"Spencer?" Hotch called softly as he stepped in close, gently laying his hand on Spencer's shoulder. As soon as he made contact, Spencer's legs buckled and he nearly collapsed to the ground. His arm quickly wrapped around the smaller man's waist, holding him up. Aaron tried not to panic as he watched Spencer slowly fall apart. Deciding there was no way he could let the other man drive, Aaron moved them to his SUV before maneuvering the younger man into the passenger's seat. They could come back tomorrow to get his car if they needed to, but for now, he needed to take care of the shocked man.

Pulling out of the parking garage, Hotch quickly pulled out his phone. He put in a quick call to Jessica, asking his sister in law to keep his son overnight. Relieved that she agreed, he made his way toward Reid's apartment.

They were silent, neither saying anything until Reid finally whispered, "Nathan Harris. He's dead."

"Nathan..?" Hotch started. "Nathan Harris? What happened?"

Spencer simply nodded as he looked straight ahead. Hotch was at a loss for what to do so he just kept driving while his subordinate quietly sobbed in the passenger seat.  
It wasn't until they were nearly half way to Reid's apartment before he spoke again.

"He just turned 25," he stated. "Did you know that? It's hard to believe that it's been ten years. Ten years, Hotch. He was only 15 when he found me."

Aaron nodded as an answer. He hadn't thought about it, hadn't realized it had been that long. They had been working together for a long time but this information suddenly surprised him.

"They were going to release him. They had to since he was committed when he was a minor. He asked me. He asked me what I thought and I told him I was worried about him, that he wasn't ready yet, that he might feel the need again. So he had himself committed. He was at Creedmoor Psychiatric Center in New York. His mom was willing to pay for the best so he went. He was doing so well."

When Reid trailed off quietly, Hotch filled in the gaps.  
"You've been writing him."

Nod.

"You visited him."

Another nod.

"Alone?"

A pause and then a slow shake of his head.

"Derek," Spencer whispered. "He would go with me so I wouldn't have go alone. The first few times were a little awkward. I don't like places like that because, well, for obvious reasons, but it was more than that. Nathan had a bit of an unhealthy attachment to me for a while, almost a crush. He'd slowly grown out of it but it still was a little disconcerting."

A small twinge of fear curled around in Hotch's gut. Worry for Spencer, knowing what someone with Nathan Harris' level of psychosis could do to him but also what it meant for Spencer to go see him despite everything. Plus there may have been a touch of jealousy, knowing that the younger man had asked Morgan and not him to accompany him.

"He was better, Hotch." The pain in his voice made Aaron flinch. "He had been taking his medication and it was working. They were getting ready to move him, let him stay in a outpatient facility so he could have a chance to be out and in the world. He was going to have a chance."

"When?" Aaron asked at the next sudden pause.

"Monday. He was moving his stuff. They said he was moving his stuff, getting ready for  
Monday. He was by himself in the storage rooms when the storage shelves shifted and pinned him against the wall. It crushed him to death and they didn't find him until hours later. Hours! Blunt traumatic asphyxia. Freak accident, they said."

He fell silent again and Hotch let him remain that way until they reached the parking lot behind Spencer's apartment complex. Pulling into the parking space, he shut off the engine and then waited.

Slowly, Reid realized they had stopped moving and he blinked back to reality. "Thanks, Hotch," he whispered. "I don't know how I would have gotten home. I'll see you tomorrow."

Hotch stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm before Spencer could get out of the vehicle. "I'm coming in, okay? You don't need to be alone right now."

Hazel eyes locked onto his face, scrutinizing him, looking for motive. Aaron stayed still, his Unit Chief mask firmly in place.

"It's not a choice, Reid. I'm just letting you know."

A nod was all he got before Spencer pulled out of his grasp and quickly got out, heading for the door. Aaron reached in the back and grabbed his go bag before following the younger man inside. Reid unlocked the door quickly before dropping his messenger bag and keys right by the door. Hotch followed him inside, simply watching the other pace restlessly around the apartment.

Reid suddenly turned and looked at him, really looked at him before his eyes narrowed and he all but growled,"Your go bag? Really? I'm not a child, Hotch. I don't need you to hold my hand and stay the night?"

"Don't you?" Hotch shot back, keeping the stoic look on his face firmly in place.

Perfect white teeth were revealed as Reid practically snarled. "What is this, Hotch? You don't trust me? What do you think is going to happen?"

Hotch was surprised at the venom being slung at him but he refused to let it show.

"I don't know, Spencer but let's see. You recently discovered that your mother is suffering from the early signs of Alzheimers disease, you watched your best friend in the world walk away from his job and you after he'd been tortured, and now you're informing me that you have been in contact with and visiting a violent and possibly dangerous man despite Bureau rules against it. And now that young man is dead and you are in pain. What am I supposed to thing is going to happen?"

Spencer had the decency to at least look a little guilty, tearing his hazel eyes away from the piercing chocolate brown. "Technically it's not against Bureau regulations since Nathan wasn't actually an Unsub."

Aaron nearly chuckled. He expected nothing less from the genius "Completely besides the point, Reid. Who else have you been visiting? What did you expect to achieve?"

"They deserve a chance," Spencer whispered, his voice pinched and pained, slowly rising in volume. "He just deserved a chance!"

Hotch stared in horror as he watched Spencer cock his fist back and aim for the solid wall in front of him. Before he knew what he was doing, Aaron darted forward and easily caught Spencer's arm before the younger man could make contact.

"What the hell are you doing, Reid?" he practically shouted. "Punching a wall? Really?! So unlike what I'd expect from a genius. You think breaking your hand will make you feel better?"

Spencer tried to pull away but Hotch wasn't having it. "That wasn't rhetorical."

"Right now, I think anything will make me feel better."

Hotch sighed before releasing Spencer's arm and held his arms out to the side. "Alright then. Here you go. Knock yourself out. Let's see if it makes you feel better."

The look on Spencer's face was priceless. Had he not already been a little frightened of the other man's state of mind, Aaron might have laughed.

"You want me to hit you?!"

"Why not?" When Spencer continued to look at him in shock, he tried goading him. "What? You  
think Morgan is the only one that can take a punch? Come on, Genius. Let's see what you've got."

For a minute, he thought Spencer wasn't going to do it, that he had talked some sort of sense into the man, but then Spencer lashed out, catching him unaware with a solid right hook to the jaw. They looked at each other in shock before Hotch smiled despite the split in his lip. "Feel better?"

"Not yet," Spencer retorted before coming after him hard. Hotch backed up, not running away but dodging fists that were flying at his midsection. Occasionally Spencer would get a hit in, throwing punches harder and faster than Hotch thought was possible. Obviously he had been doing extra trainings with Morgan and those sessions were paying off.

Reid kept advancing on him, each blow accompanied by a grunt or a curse. It shocked Aaron to hear such language coming from the normally reserved man. Apparently there was a lot more to Spencer than even he knew. He was amazed at how smoothly the normally awkward man moved, watching the way muscles moved and strained beneath the neatly tailored dress shirt. He'd noticed Reid had been dressing better the last few years, couldn't help but notice. Spencer had always been good looking but the older he got, the better he looked. And now, the suits, the dress shirts, the vests, good god the vests. Aaron looked when he thought no one was watching and at this moment, he could not tear his eyes away.

Before he knew it, Aaron found himself backed into one of the bookshelves on the far wall as Reid threw punch after punch, fueled by anger and frustration, he showed no sign of slowing down. Finally, Aaron decided that this was enough, that this needed to stop. So he reached out and wrapped his arms around the younger man, pinning Spencer against his body. Reid struggled, fighting the unrelenting grip keeping him still.

"Christ, Hotch!" he shouted. "Let go! Let me go!"

"Not happening, Reid. Deal with it."

"Fuck. Hotch please."

It was the desperation in Spencer's voice that made him pause. Suddenly he realized how close they were, how they were pressed together. He could feel a hardness pressing against his hip and he realized he was half hard as well. Hotch shifted to move away when Spencer suddenly rolled his hips, rubbing their cocks together.

"Spencer!" Hotch barked in his most commanding Unit Chief voice. The younger agent suddenly froze, instantly obeying that voice. When he was sure Spencer was done, he stepped away, putting some distance between them. "You done?"  
Spencer simply nodded before they stood and stared at each other. With a firm grip on his elbow, Aaron directed Spencer to the couch, all but forcing the younger agent to sit down. Once he was sure that the genius would stay put, he asked, "Need a drink?"

"Desperately."

When he returned from the kitchen with two beers, Spencer snorted lightly. "Could use something stronger."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Shocked eyes met him own and Aaron simply stared him down, challenging him to disagree. Reid didn't.

"So what was that?" he asked.

"It is not usually for people in a stressful situation to look for a cathartic experience that involves releasing their anger at someone in what they consider a safe manner by turning the internalized emotional pain into physical pain, which involves hitting something or someone so as to..."

"Spencer," Aaron silenced him quietly. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

After taking a pull from his beer, Spencer answered quietly, "I'm tired of losing people. I'm tired of having everyone leave. It's not fair. Gideon, Elle, Maeve, Emily. Now my mom is slipping away and Derek's not here and now this. I feel like I have nothing left, like the whole world has gone mad. It's just not fair."

"Well, first of all, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that life isn't fair. With all we've seen, we know that. And beside that, I'm a little hurt," Aaron snorted lightly when hazel eyes snapped up to meet his own. He smiled lightly before continuing. "We've all lost things, Spencer, major things. But you are not alone in this. Emily is just a phone call away and Derek is still here in town. You have the team and we will always be here for you. Henry and Jack adore you. And what about me?"

"What about you, Hotch?"

He took a deep breath, fighting with himself, deciding how much to reveal to the younger man.

"We've all lost a lot, Spencer. I can understand that. It hurts, but that means we are still alive. And I can promise you this, I'll be here for you as long as I can."

"Why?" Spencer asked, the pain shining bright in the low light of the room. "Why do you care, Hotch?"

Delaying his answer by draining his beer, Aaron finally turned to back to the pleading man. "Because you mean a lot to me, Spencer. You always have. I've just haven't been very good about showing it." When Spencer didn't respond, he asked, "So who else have you been visiting?"

"Adam Jackson. Owen Savage."

Aaron nodded. That made perfect sense. Spencer had such a giving heart, he wanted to help and to heal these broken men.

"Need someone to go with you next time you go visit?"

Spencer stared at him hard. "What about Bureau regulations?"

"If you've been getting away with this all this time, I figure you know how to get us both around the rules."

Spencer smiled lightly. "Maybe."

They waited several moments before Spencer cleared his throat. "If Nathan's mom has a service, would you go with me?"

Aaron smiled softly. "Of course."

"Thanks Hotch."

"Since you just beat the stuffing out of me, maybe you could call me Aaron?"

"Wow," Spencer whispered with just a hint of sarcasm. "Now I feel like one of the cool kids. What will Dave say?"

Aaron dropped his head to hide his amused smile. "He'd probably ask when I took the proverbial stick out of my ass."

That got an actual laugh out of Spencer and the tension and grief that had been clouding the room seemed to dissipate. "You don't have to stay the night, you know," Spencer said quietly. "I'm okay now."

"No," Aaron answered. "I'm staying. I've left you alone too long. I'm sorry about that. I never should have listened to Gideon back then. He said you could handle it and I believed him. I should have..."

"Aaron," the younger man interrupted. "Don't, okay. I get it. You had stuff going on. I didn't know how much at the time but I get it. You were there when I needed you most." He gestured to the man on the couch. "You're here now."

Hotch swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion suddenly. "I am, you know. I am here now."

Spencer slowly stepped forward. "I see that, Hot...Aaron." After a moment's hesitation and furrowed brow, he asked, "Are we going to talk about happened earlier when...you know?"

"No. Not tonight anyway."

They simply stared at each other for a moment before Spencer yawned widely.

"And I think that's our cue," Aaron offered with a small chuckle. "Do you have bedding for the couch?"

"You're sleeping on the couch?"

"I think that's for the best, don't you?"

Slowly, Spencer nodded. "I guess, although I have to admit that my couch isn't the most comfortable, though it must be more comfortable than sleeping on the jet." He motioned down the hallway. "The bathroom is the first door on the right if you want to shower or anything before you go to sleep."

"Thanks, Spencer."

Aaron thought that he should move, should get up and grab his bag and get ready to go to sleep but he felt pinned under the stare of intense hazel eyes. He sat frozen as Spencer stepped forward, his right hand outstretched as if he was approaching a strange dog, and knowing the Reid effect, that was saying a lot. Slowly, warm fingers caressed his jaw before a thumb ran softly along his lower lip. He hissed lightly when Spencer aggrevated the split in his lip.

"Sorry about this," Spencer whispered.

"Do you feel better?" Aaron answered just a quietly, his voice low and husky, even to his own ears.

"I do."

"Then it was worth it."

Spencer smiled down at him and Hotch had a moment of panic when he thought that the other man might actually lean down to kiss him. Instead, the younger agent simply thanked him before stepping away, breaking the spell they seemed to have fallen under unwittingly.

"How will you explain that tomorrow?" he asked.

"You're the genius," Aaron said with a smile, "You think of something."

Spencer chuckled as he started down the hallway. "Alright. I'll sleep on it."

"You do that." Aaron smiled warmly as he watched the tall, lanky figure disappear down the hall. "Good night, Spencer."

"Good night, Aaron," he heard drift down the hallway, soft, lilting and almost inviting. It warmed him deep in his belly. "This means more to me to than you know."

Once he heard the bedroom door click closed, he answered back even if he was only one to hear it. "I think I know, Spencer. Trust me. More than _you_ know."

" _The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them." - Stephen King_

**End**

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written in 3 years so I'm super nervous about this. I have ideas for more for these boys so this may become a series but we will see how this goes.


End file.
